Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

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geckzilla
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by geckzilla » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:12 am

Clearly a very old joke and unbelievable by today's standards. Everyone would be trampling one another to get a smartphone pic of the beast.
Just call me "geck" because "zilla" is like a last name.

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Chris Peterson
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Chris Peterson » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:22 am

geckzilla wrote:Clearly a very old joke and unbelievable by today's standards. Everyone would be trampling one another to get a smartphone pic of the beast.
No need. These days, the beast would have a Facebook and Twitter account, and we could check out his picture anytime we wished. #666
Chris

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geckzilla
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by geckzilla » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:30 am

True enough. Apparently his counterpart already has a Facebook account. My friends like to share the posts.
Just call me "geck" because "zilla" is like a last name.

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Sat Dec 21, 2013 7:44 pm

Image
To find the Truth, you must go Beyond.

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:54 pm

If you're down to two left, not one is right.
To find the Truth, you must go Beyond.

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by neufer » Mon Dec 23, 2013 3:39 pm

Click to play embedded YouTube video.
Beyond wrote:
If you're down to two left, not one is right.
Art Neuendorffer

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:15 pm

So... how long you been waiting to use that video :?: :lol2:
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by neufer » Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:33 pm

Beyond wrote:
So... how long you been waiting to use that video :?: :lol2:
Dozens...no... hundreds of days.
Art Neuendorffer

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:05 pm

Glad to have helped relive you of that burden, Mr. Art 'lefty' Neuendorffer. :yes:
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by neufer » Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:37 pm

Beyond wrote:
Glad to have helped relive [sic] you of that burden, Mr. Art 'lefty' Neuendorffer. :yes:
Relive, v. t. To recall to life; to revive. http://asterisk.apod.com/viewtopic.php? ... 46#p166847
Art Neuendorffer

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Mon Feb 10, 2014 2:37 am

What are cats made of?
Iron..Lithium..Neon
FeLiNe

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Ann
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Ann » Mon Feb 10, 2014 2:48 am

Image

Ann
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Mon Feb 10, 2014 4:25 am

Catastrophe in the making :?: Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to be quite purrfect. :lol2:
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Tue Apr 08, 2014 7:07 pm

If you don't know Bigfoot....You don't know 'Squatch

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Sat Apr 12, 2014 11:10 pm

Image Go ahead, bump me. I dare ya.
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Ann » Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:55 am

Sorry about a not so nice word here.... but I couldn't resist. :wink:

Good to see your funny posts again, Beyond! :D

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:46 am

Looks like you one upped me, Ann. It would seem that the guy in the pink sweater doesn't know that roller-skating in a Buffalo pen, is not a good idea! :no:
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Tue Jun 03, 2014 5:04 pm

Why did the Mortician enter the Tavern of the Seven Dwarves?
He was looking to get a little stiff

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Wed Jul 09, 2014 5:07 am

What did the numerator say to the denominator?
there is a fine line between us

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by MargaritaMc » Sun Jul 13, 2014 9:04 pm

http://www.firstlightoptics.com/clearan ... n/reviews/

The reviews are worth reading!
(I had assumed the date of sale was in April, but it looks as tho it's been up for sale for a couple of years!)
"In those rare moments of total quiet with a dark sky, I again feel the awe that struck me as a child. The feeling is utterly overwhelming as my mind races out across the stars. I feel peaceful and serene."
— Dr Debra M. Elmegreen, Fellow of the AAAS

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by geckzilla » Sun Jul 13, 2014 11:14 pm

For the right price, you probably could learn how to hijack the thing somehow without even leaving Earth. Good thing there aren't very many dangerous, militant astronomers out there.
Just call me "geck" because "zilla" is like a last name.

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Wed Jul 16, 2014 8:08 pm

Image
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by THX1138 » Thu Sep 04, 2014 3:59 pm

A married couple have a baby boy that's born with no body at all, just a head and a neck but it's their child and so they love and raise him. Now when the head turns twenty one his dad takes him to a bar to get his first drink so he sets the head down on a bar stool next to him and pours a drink into his mouth and poof, a body pops out of the neck. Everybody at the bar is quite surprised at what they have just seen, obviously. then dad pours another drink into his mouth and poof, arms pop out. Now with complete arms he pours another into his own mouth and poof, legs pop out and at this point his son stands up and starts running around the bar ecstatic for the fact that for the first time in his life he is a complete person and he runs out of the bar and into the street where he is immediately hit by a car and killed.
Now as the father sits heartbroken at the bar and the other patrons of the bar sit completely dumbfounded from what they had just witnessed the bartender, as bartenders will be (not missing a beat) Says, yep he should have quit while he was a head

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by THX1138 » Thu Sep 04, 2014 7:49 pm

The message which was written in a birthday card that I received from a family member this year

I decided that I'm not going to make any age related jokes this year on your birthday
because I really do genuinely feel bad about how old you really are.

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Nitpicker » Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:38 am

THX1138 wrote:A married couple have a baby boy that's born with no body at all, just a head and a neck but it's their child and so they love and raise him. Now when the head turns twenty one his dad takes him to a bar to get his first drink so he sets the head down on a bar stool next to him and pours a drink into his mouth and poof, a body pops out of the neck. Everybody at the bar is quite surprised at what they have just seen, obviously. then dad pours another drink into his mouth and poof, arms pop out. Now with complete arms he pours another into his own mouth and poof, legs pop out and at this point his son stands up and starts running around the bar ecstatic for the fact that for the first time in his life he is a complete person and he runs out of the bar and into the street where he is immediately hit by a car and killed.
Now as the father sits heartbroken at the bar and the other patrons of the bar sit completely dumbfounded from what they had just witnessed the bartender, as bartenders will be (not missing a beat) Says, yep he should have quit while he was a head
How did they know it was a baby boy at birth?