Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

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Beyond
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:25 am

A bicycle can't stand alone. It's two tired.
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:29 am

Those who get to BIG for their pants will be exposed in the end.

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Thu Jun 04, 2015 5:44 am

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Sun Jun 07, 2015 1:18 am

The thing about pears, is that they come in singles.
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Sun Jun 07, 2015 5:13 pm

You have 24 odds and ends on a table. If 23 of them fall off, what do you have left?

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Mon Jun 08, 2015 1:35 am

BMAONE23 wrote:You have 24 odds and ends on a table. If 23 of them fall off, what do you have left?
Oddly enough, an even bigger mess of odds and ends on the floor.
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by brucesdad13 » Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:32 pm

Orca wrote:So a neutrino is sitting at the bar, drinking heavily.

"Another wiskey!" shouts the neutrino.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" asks the bar keep.

"Nah, they just go right through me!"




ba dum tss
Har har ;-)

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:50 am

HEADLINE: Woman steals 131 pairs of underpants from Walmart. ... Seems a bit odd, to me.
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Moonlady » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:51 am

dumdidumdidum...(adding some characters because I was asked to....)
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Moonlady » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:04 am

you can't get enough characters, can't you!
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Moonlady » Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:28 am

meanwhile, on Mars
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Ann » Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:01 am

Moonlady, so good of you to drop in!!! And thanks for the laughs! :lol2:

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Ron-Astro Pharmacist » Wed Aug 26, 2015 9:00 pm

I hate to admit this but I could not come up with yesterday's Jumble puzzle. The letters were s-o-p-u-a-t-c-e-i-r-o-s-u. The clue was : The universe is home to so many planets, stars and galaxies because it's- "5 letter word - 8 letter word" with a picture of a teacher at the blackboard depicting a dark, night sky stating, "The nearest galaxy closest to us is 2.5 million light years away!"

Being an astronomy-minded person I had to get this. Not to be – my wife figured it out first for which I give her tons of credit. :clap:
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https://unclerave.wordpress.com/2015/08 ... er-082515/
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Ron-Astro Pharmacist » Wed Sep 09, 2015 7:51 pm

While playing poker with friends the other night someone made a remark about the current state of "men of our ages" sex lives. One of the guys stated, "All that Viagra does for me is give me a stiff neck!" The pharmacist in me immediately thought along professional lines and said, "That means you need to take it with a bigger sip of water."
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Wed Sep 09, 2015 9:12 pm

What did the Prostate say to the Testicle?
There is a Vas Deferens between us

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by ddorn777 » Fri Oct 02, 2015 9:06 pm

This one is about as astronomical as I have in my arsenal:




Darth Vader: "Luke Skywalker (heavy breathing) I know what you're getting for Christmas (more heavy breathing)

Luke: "How?"

Darth Vader: "I felt your presents"

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:28 am

Who does the world's largest shark see when they need braces?
The Megalodontist

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Moonlady » Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:29 pm

today
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Moonlady » Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:01 pm

leaving space-land and transform 3-d female subject into a line-citizen to enter two-dimensional-land.
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by BMAONE23 » Sat Jan 16, 2016 4:35 pm

What do you call "Gliding down the side of a public right-of-way on the backs of feudal slaves"?
sidewalk serfing

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Thu Jan 28, 2016 3:18 am

How about an Astronomically Bad (Or good) Astronomical Commercial?
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Ann » Thu Jan 28, 2016 9:24 am

On the Moon, no one can hear you
f**t.
What a bean-o-rama!

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Moonlady » Fri Jan 29, 2016 2:04 am

http://www.spacecentre.co.uk/space-now/ ... n-in-space

"bottom cough" :lol2:
you can call flatulence that too.

silent and "deadly butt problems"

http://www.themarysue.com/space-farts/

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Thu Feb 04, 2016 12:36 am

Click to play embedded YouTube video.
To find the Truth, you must go Beyond.

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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

Post by Beyond » Tue Feb 09, 2016 7:40 pm

Click to play embedded YouTube video.
To find the Truth, you must go Beyond.